The Beginning of the End

Well, I finally got this thing up and running. It was both harder and easier than I thought. Easier because it only took me a few hours to get the basics set up, and harder because all of the sites I found that had Blogger hacks were all for old Blogger and not Blogger Beta. (Yes I know it's not "beta" anymore but it seems to make more sense than calling it new Blogger.) So, you can expect to get all kinds of crazy eclectic shit posted here soon. I'm not going to start trying to promote this blog yet as I still have a couple of adjustments I want to make. In the meantime as long as you're here check out some of the links I have up on the sidebar. You have my money back guarantee that you'll find something interesting. Also, I've posted a couple of blogs that I wrote many moons ago from my old Myspace that now have a new home here.

Anyway, if you're reading this: Thanks, and tell your friends! Also, you might want to bookmark this blog or subscribe to the RSS feed if you're savvy to that kind of thing. I know I wouldn't want to have to type in "Pretentious Obfuscation" every time I come here. Just typing it once makes me want to go lay down. ;)

Never Say "Kafkaesque" In A Gas Station

This is a blog I wrote a while ago on another site that I'm now moving here. Enjoy!

Sometimes having a large vocabulary can be a liability. Here's an example:

Today I woke up and realized there was no Mountain Dew in the house. As a general rule, I'm pretty much useless in the morning without my first Dew and Camel Light of the day. Well, today I just couldn't see having the cigarette without the Dew. So, I drove to the gas station by my house. Now, being a smoker and being that this gas station is about a 2 minute drive from my apartment I am what might be considered a "regular" at this place. That's not to say that I know every person who works there but I usually am polite and I chat for a minute before just getting out of there with my shit. So, I go in and grab a Vanilla Frappuccino, a cold 20 oz. Dew and a 12-pack. I recognize the people on duty: a guy and a girl about my age who are usually friendly and I have spoken to several times before. Well, there is an older gentleman in front of me, in a state I would describe as completely inebriated, buying... Surprise! 2 Tall cans of beer! Now the girl behind the counter is reading a magazine and talking to the guy on duty while I wait behind the drunk guy and a few more people come in behind me and get in line. No big deal, I'm not in a rush. The drunk guy starts bantering with the guy and girl behind the register, and I begin to tune out in a haze of caffeine deprivation when I hear him say something to the girl about being a giant cockroach. Immediately my caffeine and nicotine starved mind picked up on this image, tripped a neuron or two and reminded me of something. Franz Kafka wrote a short story called "The Metamorphosis" in which a man wakes up one day to discover, to his horror, that he has become a giant cockroach! This in turn tripped another neuron that reminded me of the word "Kafkaesque"

Definition from Dictionary.com...

...and from Wikipedia

Now apparently the combination of nicotine AND caffeine deprivation acts as some kind of truth serum on me and everything that I think comes out of my mouth. Much to my horror I realized that I had spoken the word "Kafkaesque" OUT LOUD! The drunk guy, and the guy and girl behind the counter, and the people in line behind me (numbered in the millions in my imagination) all turn to look at me in confusion. I froze. After approximately 3 seconds (which felt like 6 hours) I was able to manage a slight shake of my head and a mumbled "nevermind..." Beginning to blush I ducked my head and tried to pretend I was an inch tall (I'm about 6'1") Finally the drunk guy leaves, I set my stuff down on the counter and hand the guy my cash. To my further horror the girl behind the counter asks,

"Now what was it you said?" while looking at my red face.

I reply

"There's a story written by this guy named Franz Kafka called 'The Metamorphosis' where the main character wakes up in the morning to discover he's become a giant cockroach. So I said Kafkaesque."

The guy and the girl look at each other and then look back at me as though I had suddenly in fact, become, a GIANT COCKROACH!! The guy hands me back my change and says, and I quote,

"You must've gone to college."

To which I managed to reply,

"No, I just read a lot..."

Then, as I turned and hurried out the door, I did in fact manage to confirm that there were exactly 4 people in line behind me and, yes there were all staring at me. I then proceeded home to sit in the dark with a cigarette and a Dew to smack myself in the face repeatedly. What a great start to my day...

A few further thoughts...

...I'm the only person I know of who laughs at bumper stickers that say "Eschew Obfuscation."

...I'm the only person I know who finds it ironic that using the word "pretentious" is, in fact, pretentious.

...I'm the only person I know who finds it unfair that you can be "disgruntled" but not "gruntled." And that you can be "overwhelmed" but not "underwhelmed" or "whelmed."

...And I'm now also the only person I know who has ever said the word "Kafkaesque" in a gas station.

Old Patriot Act Letters

Part1: So, I got all fired up about the Patriot Act a couple years ago and decided to write a letter to the editor.

Part2: My wife took my letter into work and showed her boss who is a very cool educated open-minded kind of guy... Who believed that the Patriot Act should Not be repealed! He wrote me a letter in response. I truly wish I had that letter so I could show you both sides but unfortunately I do not. Suffice it to say it was extremely well written and made many serious and strong points.

Part3: I wrote another letter in response.

Part4: I found this junk tonight while looking around for stuff to delete on my computer to free up space (and out of sheer boredom) To further alleviate said boredom I decided to post in it my blog.

Caveat!: I was reading a lot of Michael Moore at the time and I know I cite him several times in these letters. I independently confirmed what information I could find and took the rest on faith. (not my usual style to go on faith) I've heard a lot of criticism about Michael Moore but I DO believe that he has the best interests of America at heart. I also believe that he does not intentionally falsify information. (Unlike some G.O.P. pundits I won't point fingers at!) So as always: Think for yourself! Gather information and make your own decisions! This is just something to pass the time...


So, without any further ado...

-> Letter 1<- September 11th was a frightening time in America. But even more remarkable was the way Americans of all color and creed came together in support of our country. I, for one, felt proud to be an American when I saw the profusion of the flags being displayed across the country on our home pick-ups and mini-vans. But the fear that we felt from that day is still in the back of our minds. The Bush Administration has done their best to distract us from their failure to catch Bin Laden with their crusade to free the Iraqi people from their oppressive regime. Or wait wasn't it supposed to be a search for Weapons of Mass Destruction? Bush Jr. has used this personal vendetta against the man who tried to kill his father to pull the wool over our eyes. And no, I don't mean his failure to catch Osama, I mean the fact that the Bush Administration has used our fear to frightening us into giving away our rights and liberties. Just 45 days after 9/11, Congress passed the USA PATRIOT act. This act affects every aspect of our lives, from what we say in our e-mail, to what we check out from the library. But, how many of us know just what the PATRIOT act has authorized the government to do in our defense? Do you know that the PATRIOT act severely restricts our rights under the 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, and 14th Amendments to the Constitution? How about this, The USA PATRIOT ACT allows the government to: Tap and trace all of your e-mails Access your banking, school, and consumer purchase records Obtain the list of library books you checked out this year To enter you home or business when you are away and search through and seize your property and take photographs and not tell you until later Tap your phone lines And detain you indefinitely without a warrant, legal council, or even just cause by labeling you and enemy combatant And most appallingly the secret warrants for these unconstitutional invasions into our lives are obtained from secret judges in secret courts with the only explanation being, intelligence purposes. In fear and distraction we have allowed our rights and privacy to be taken from us by a power hungry government in the guise of a war on terrorism. The terrorist act on 9/11 was intended to make us afraid and to hurt us. It seems to me that if the terrorists were trying to destroy our way of life as Americans than we have begun to let them succeed. We all need to take personal responsibility for what our government has been allowed to do. Go to the American Civil Liberties Union website http://www.aclu.org/SafeandFree, or read Michael Moore's Dude, Wheres My Country, or get any other information you can about the PATRIOT act. When you learn for yourselves what the USA PATRIOT act has to say about our rights as Americans, I hope you will recognize what a danger it is for us now and in the future. Write to your Congressman or State Representative and tell them what you think. As long as you're reading you might as well read 1984 by George Orwell also. We all need to wake up and remember, Big Brother is watching you. =========INTERMISSION============== (just kidding) -> Letter 2 <-

Hey ******, first off, just let me say thanks so much for writing a response to my letter. I usually don't like to get into political discussions with people I want to stay friends with. Some of my views may be a little extreme. As long as we have that understood, well, I just had to reply back. Please understand that I consider this just a friendly discussion between two peers and if I disagree with some of your political viewpoints is does not have anything to do with me disliking you as a person. Ok?
Well, I too consider myself a Democrat. Though I suppose there is a bit of Green and more than a bit of Independent thrown in as well. But I guess I would best be described by that oh so un-P.C. word: liberal. I have to agree with a lot of the points you made. The Patriot Act may have prevented 9/11 or previous terrorist acts from happening had it been enacted before these events occurred. Ill also agree that Joe Average has nothing to fear from The Patriot Act at least not yet. But there are things about it that do give me the creeps. You see, I have no problem with the police or the FBI or the CIA or ATF-NSF-DEA-ATFblah blah blah keeping an eye on criminals or suspected terrorists or anyone suspected of illegal activity. But the Department of Homeland Security??? Doesn't that name just give you the creeps? I really don't think that Rummy Rumsfeld and Tom Ridge and John Ashcroft should be peeking into our personal lives. However, Homeland Security is a legitimate government department, and I therefore have no problem with them keeping an eye on suspected terrorists. But, why all the secrecy? From my understanding the Feds can conduct a phone tap or a search and seizure or a review of your medical, student, and library records or whatever else they want to do without any kind of court review, warrant, or probable cause, and without ever telling you it was done! They have no one watching the watchers. The Patriot Act completely circumvents the system of checks and balances that the founding fathers built into our government. And the President can label anyone an enemy combatant at any time and they will be thrown directly in to jail, do not pass GO, do not collect 200 dollars! Not only that, but the powers of the Patriot Act extend to all government departments, including the local police! This applies to all Americans, not just terrorists or criminal suspects. Another thing that really bothers me is the fact that just 45 days after 9/11 the government was pushing this law into effect. The reason this bill went through with 98-1 approval in the Senate was because of fear. Do you want to know which Senator voted against? Wisconsin Democrat Russ Feingold. He said,

There have been periods in our Nations history when civil liberties have taken a backseat to what appeared at the same time to be the legitimate exigencies of war. Our national consciousness still bears the stain and scar of those events: The Alien and Sedition Acts, the suspension of Habeas Corpus during the Civil War, the internment of Japanese-Americans, German- Americans, and Italian-Americans during World War II, the blacklisting of supposed communist sympathizers during the McCarthy era, and the surveillance and harassment of anti-war protesters, including Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., during the Vietnam war. We must not allow these pieces of our past to become prologue.



You say that the Patriot Act remains a very useful law, IF used correctly. But, how does that old adage go? Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. And we haven't waited very long yet and already the government is abusing its big new toy. Already since it was enacted, there are at least 34 documented cases of FBI abuse under the Patriot Act and 966 individuals have filed formal complaints. Here are some examples I got from Dude, Wheres My Country by Michael Moore:

John Clarke, and organizer with the Ontario Coalition Against Poverty (OCAP), was detained at the American border by immigration officials on his way to a speaking engagement at Michigan State University. A State Department agent drove in from Detroit and interrogated Clarke about his position on anti-globalization protests, about whether he opposed the ideology of the United States, and even about the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. The agent presented a State Department folder on OCAP that included the name of a man with whom Clarke had stayed in Chicago, and leaflets from Clarke's previous speaking engagements in the U.S.
In May 2002 six French journalists were stopped at Los Angeles International Airport, interrogated and subjected to body searches. They were detained for more than a day and expelled from the United States before they could reach their final destination: a video game trade show.
At a high school in Vermont, a uniformed police officer entered teacher Tom Treece's classroom at 1:30 a.m. to photograph a student art project that depicted President Bush with duct tape over his mouth and the caption, Put your duct tape to good use. Shut your mouth. Treece was removed from teaching his current events class.
A college student in North Carolina, A.J. Brown, was visited by two Secret Service agents who questioned her about her possession of anti-American material. Without inviting them in, Brown showed the agents what she assumed they came for: an anti-death-penalty poster showing Bush and a group of lynched bodies with the caption: We hang on your every word.
North Carolina Green Party activist Doug Stuber was detained and questioned while trying to fly to Prague, then told that no Greens were allowed to fly that day. His interrogators showed him a document from the Justice Department that showed that Greens were likely terrorists, and the Secret Service agent took a mug shot. Stuber was forced to turn back.


You see this isn't just about racial profiling; its about our everyday rights to privacy as American citizens. They are trying to tell us, If you don't think like we do and if you get too loud about it we may just come look through your things while you are at work or tap your phone to keep an eye on you or look through all of the private information you have out there or To me they are trying to take away one of the greatest things about being an American that most people take for granted: Freedom of Speech. Because once the Government starts intimidating people who think differently because they might be terrorists, then where does it end? To me there is only one place that path will take us. It may not be tomorrow or next year. Who knows? If we are lucky, it may not even be in our lifetimes. But it will be 1984, and Big Brother will be watching us.

So anyway, thats my long, ranting diatribe about the Patriot Act. You can reply if you want, but don't feel that you have to. Sarah tells me what a busy guy you are. And, if you still don't agree with me that the Patriot Act should be repealed, then I hope we can agree to disagree and just be friends. Deal? Like I wrote last time, you really should read Dude, Wheres My Country by Michael Moore, and there is a lot of good info on the ACLU website. Thats all for now. Thanks for letting me stretch my brain cells!